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February 22, 2013
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I can still remember with perfect clarity the day in eighth grade when a boy walked up to me at my locker and said, “Hey cutie.” I was sweaty, having just come from gym class, and I was only at my locker to buy some time before I had to go to math class where the teacher hated me and the numbers didn’t make any sense. But there was a boy standing next to me and he called me cute and I had no idea what to say. But I didn’t have to say anything, because the girl he was with just laughed, a cut off cackle into the oversized purse she was fishing through. I turned back to my locker, not saying a word because I was out of my depth and trying to ignore the world.  

Either ignorant to the fact that I was still within earshot or apathetic about the whole situation, the girl pressed the boy for answers. “Why would you say that?”

“Fat chicks need love too.” The words were mocking, insincere, and they burned through my body like a poison. I didn't ask for this; I was just standing at my locker. I was standing at my locker so that I didn’t have to go to a class where the teacher lied to my mother about me and made me feel inadequate on a daily basis. I was standing at my locker because all I could think about was that my dad was in the hospital for the third time in two years and he was probably in surgery by now. I was standing at my locker because I had just come from gym class and I didn’t know if I could take another day of the teacher ignoring how the athletic girls mistreated the rest of us. But now I was standing at my locker because some fourteen year old angel of the fucking lord had decided to grace me with his all-inclusive love.

Quietly, I closed my locker door and sped down the hall to my math class. I had a test to take, a test that I knew I wasn’t going to be ready for because my mind was completely blank. I thought of nothing as I pushed my way into the classroom, trying to inconspicuously wipe tears from my eyes. But I was still burning inside and now the fire was pushing out, leaking from me, clawing its way out of my eyes so that it could glow on the surface of my face. I wasn’t fooling anyone.
I want to thank everyone who has liked, favorited, commented, and just generally shown support for me in the past week or so since I received a Daily Deviation. I don't have internet at home, so it took me quite by surprise to see over 500 messages for me in my inbox when I did manage to get online. Reading your thoughts and stories has been one of the most touching experiences I've had thus far. So thank you so, so much. I can't even begin to express how much you all mean to me.
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Daily Deviation

Given 2013-05-16
In Which Middle School is Hell is a trip into ~Melpyra's psyche, capable of making any reader sympathize easily with her suffering, carried out by wonderful narration and humanity, says the suggester. ( Suggested by Clockchat and Featured by Nichrysalis )
:iconfabes95:
Fabes95 Featured By Owner Sep 18, 2014  Student General Artist
Glad I got to read this. 
I am so sorry this happened to you. I am a "hefty fellow" and I still remember the first time I was called fat. It was first grade. 
That hit me like a ton of bricks.
Ever since then I have made fun of my weight to keep others from doing so. 
YES. I am a guy. But I have felt the scourge of the crowd laughing at my weight. YES I realize I am the only one who can change that. 
but then... 
You realize that it really shouldn't matter, and you look to your friends and realize that you are loved. 
Sure it may be a bit different, and you may have to compensate for certain activities, but in my case, I have friends who care about me, whether I be fat or thin. And in the grand scheme of things, that is all that matters.

I hope that you have had better experiences since. :)
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:iconshingekinoevan:
ShingekiNoEvan Featured By Owner May 22, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
This makes me so sad that you had to experience this and that anyone has ever treated you this way. I absolutely love this piece and it is a well deserved DD. I often come and find this and read it. I don't know why, but it speaks to me. I also get teary eyed when I read it. I think it saddens me the most because I care so much about you as a friend and that this was before I knew you and at a time where I couldn't help you. You are beautiful on the inside and out and you have wonderful writing abilities. <3 Don't ever forget that! <3
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:icongirlwhosangtheblues:
girlwhosangtheblues Featured By Owner Jun 1, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I'm both sad and smiling because I know and I know.
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:iconranmas2:
ranmas2 Featured By Owner May 31, 2013
Omj, I hate bullies so much it makes me want to.. nevermind .-.
I feel really bad for you and I hope the rest of your life is never the same c; Please bear in mind that there are still good people out there who will be good friends ^^:icondragonhugplz:
Reply
:iconhikariartista:
hikariartista Featured By Owner May 29, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
i can relate to you as well.
i was bullied in middle school, and needless to say i hate them so bad. There's this boy who keeps bullying me like a sicko and one of my friends even stabbed my back. I'm still furious at them even in high school.
I just wanna say that it will get better.
At high school, most people will become better, and i tried to introspect myself too. After that, it just get better. I don't know if that will be the same case at your place, but just block your ears. Those people doesn't deserve your attention :)
Reply
:iconx-jazzy-b-real-x:
x-Jazzy-B-Real-x Featured By Owner May 28, 2013
I will mutilate this bastard for you. Urgh, little fucker.

...Great piece, of course!

But now I have a strong desire to run up in some middle schools/high schools. Must breathe. :XD: ;;
Reply
:icondailylitdeviations:
DailyLitDeviations Featured By Owner May 18, 2013
BTW, Here is the correct link to your DLD feature in the May 16th, 2013 article: [link]
Reply
:iconvanuinfiltrator:
VanuInfiltrator Featured By Owner May 17, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
It's rare to find Literature DDs :D
Reply
:iconnichrysalis:
Nichrysalis Featured By Owner May 17, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
We try to have at least two literature DD's a day. :nod: You can always find the DD's for the current day here: [link]
Reply
:iconvanuinfiltrator:
VanuInfiltrator Featured By Owner May 17, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Huh, didn't know that.
Reply
:iconnichrysalis:
Nichrysalis Featured By Owner May 17, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Glad to help. :)
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:iconsara-sekhmet:
sara-sekhmet Featured By Owner May 17, 2013  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
To those still in primary schooling: it REALLY does get better. Once you graduate, you never have to see any of those people again. If you run into them in college, it's much easier to ignore them :)
Reply
:iconbansini:
Bansini Featured By Owner May 24, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Well, it may be so, but I think it would take you sometime to find a person in dA still in primary schooling. Apart from people who break the age limit thing, that is. :)
Reply
:icongammel-sjel:
gammel-sjel Featured By Owner May 17, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I know exactly how you feel except my troubles are carrying on into high school. :iconfaceeverythingplz: :iconcryforeverplz: :iconiggysulkplz: But I feel ya man. I feel ya. :iconiknowthatfeelplz:

Beautiful essay. Absolutely beautiful. :iconclapplz: So relateable. So clear. Love the detail and descriptions. :iconepicclapplz:

Congrats on the very very very very very very very (infinity-and-beyond verys) well-deserved DD! ^^ :D :iconclapplz: :iconepicclapplz: :heart: :love: :dalove: :clap:
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:iconimagineapplescruffs:
ImagineAppleScruffs Featured By Owner May 16, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
School-age kids will always get, and give, hell to other school-age kids. In my experience, kids are just mean to each other because they don't really know how else to be; because their parents aren't at school with them, they feel free to act out as much as they want without too much of a repercussion... teachers can't hit their students anymore... even though some kids deserve to be smacked with a ruler to the knuckles.
Still, college is the best with regard to the social sanity of it all; everybody there is there by choice and they all want to make it through and get their degree, so they don't have time, or even want to, bother anyone else.
Also, this might help all those who seem to complain a lot about the people in their class: We don't really grow up; we just learn how to act in public... This may not be true for all cases, but in most cases -- with the considered-average population -- we realize that all the drama and energy that goes into bullying is really not worth it as adults and we just try to get on with our lives. And if it further helps, the people who used to bully me in middle school have now apologized and are acting like civilized adults.
Life is hard in general, people. But that is what makes us all human. Children don't realize what's going on until it's too late or something has gone too far, which is why we need to -- as Crosby, Stills, and Nash say -- teach our children well; the future of our world will be a lot better off in their hands if we all try to work together to fix the bullying issue.

:peace:
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:iconkori-hibana:
kori-hibana Featured By Owner May 16, 2013  Student General Artist
proud resident of canada --> no middle school. and the people are nicer here :D
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:icon8thmessenger:
8thmessenger Featured By Owner May 18, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Which part of canada is there no middle school and the people are nicer? Cause there is still middle schools in my side of canada and kids are still mean there.
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:iconkori-hibana:
kori-hibana Featured By Owner May 18, 2013  Student General Artist
West Canada? O.o I have friends living in various other provinces, like Ontario, and NFL, but they don't have middle school either? I just assumed... xD or maybe me and 20 000 other students live a rather sheltered life, if it's only in my city OAO
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:icon8thmessenger:
8thmessenger Featured By Owner May 23, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Hmmm...I think it varies from province to province with how they do education. Or it is only in your city. I have no idea. *shrugs*
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:iconaurora-celest:
aurora-celest Featured By Owner May 17, 2013
Canada doesn't have middle school?
Reply
:iconkori-hibana:
kori-hibana Featured By Owner May 17, 2013  Student General Artist
Nope. Elementary is preschool/kindergarten to gr 7, then high school is gr8-12 then uni/college
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:iconaurora-celest:
aurora-celest Featured By Owner May 17, 2013
Hm. Well that's interesting.
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:iconmelissmysiss:
MelissMySiss Featured By Owner May 16, 2013
:hug:

Aww this made me cry! :tears: Man I hated middle school too. It was probably my transition years into high school. Which I have to say is not any better at all. Like literally I have no friends at high school. And the people who are my "friends" ignore me and act like I don't exist when I try to talk to them.... But ya. I think school in general is such a competition and popularity contest. It just isn't worth it, the whole system is rigged I swear. And it doesn't help that it is human nature to try to be the best at everything and be the one person that everyone likes no matter what you do or say to get there. It is just ridiculous.
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:iconrosuto-kia:
rosuto-kia Featured By Owner May 16, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Middle school was the worst idea ever invented. You have preteens in the 'prime' of their hormones where testosterone and eroticness is flowing grossly out of them like little whores and assholes they are. At least in highschool some of them grow up.
I really hope your pain fades one day, no beautiful girl deserves to feel the pain of a monsters lop-sides insults.
It dosen't matter how big, how small, pretty or ugly you are. All that matters is that you are you and that you only improve yourself for you. You are a strong, wonderful woman for being able to deal with their shit, and I have nothing but respect for you. Stay strong.
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:iconeclectic-reception:
eclectic-reception Featured By Owner May 16, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Pretty much the exact same things happened to me in middle school, and it's the reason I have horrible self-esteem to this day. I never had problems with my opinion of myself until middle school. I was bullied for pretty much everything. Before I came out of my shell, I was bullied for being quiet and shy. Then, I was bullied for being "weird" after I started trying to be more outgoing. I was also bullied because of my height and weight, and everyone called me a "serial killer" on account of my gothic phase. Even after I entered high school and didn't dress in all black anymore, people still regarded me as the weird, scary gothic chick. "Popular" and/or athletic peers would walk all over me and refuse to acknowledge my existence as if I was below them. I was one of the most intelligent kids in my school, but that didn't matter because I wasn't beautiful or skinny or athletic. I hate that the problems I had in middle and high school have had such a huge effect on me. To this day, I still have major trust issues, and I am extremely self-conscious about everything, sometimes to the point that I don't even want to leave the house. I also tend to be very bigoted and hateful toward strangers because I've come to expect that they'll only make fun of me. This piece really spoke to me because it felt like I was reading something I had written about my own experiences in school. I think a lot of people can relate to the feeling of inadequacy and self-loathing that bullying causes.
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:iconmontreuxofbonzo:
MontreuxOfBonzo Featured By Owner May 16, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Middle school IS hell. :p
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:iconkenta321:
Kenta321 Featured By Owner May 16, 2013
Yeah, that's middle school for ya, down to a T...
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:iconhawkheart29:
Hawkheart29 Featured By Owner May 16, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Middle school was bad for me too. Besides a nasty bully who picked on me, there was a boy who toyed with my emotions; He made me feel like I was on cloud nine and than the very next day he acted like I didn't even exist. I cried for hours wondering what did I do wrong. Than, the very next year, he tried to corner me and make out with me. I was sexually harassed and would probably have been assaulted if I hadn't had the courage to tell him "No". The next day I confronted him and told him I didn't like what he did and to leave me alone. As I walked away I heard his friend ask him what all that was about and he said "SHE tried to kiss ME yesterday."
Since then I tend to think/speak cruelly about men who are attracted/turned on by any girl even if the guys in question are some of my best friends because deep down inside I'm scared that if I don't put up some sort of wall they'll do exactly what that one boy did.....Than I feel guilty because I know they never will and yet I still hurt them.
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:iconnatebros:
Natebros Featured By Owner May 16, 2013
I can absolutely relate to this story, because middle school absolutely dragged my life into a pit. I'd probably be in a better place if middle school hadn't have been such a nightmare. The ridiculousness of it all still haunts me to this day, in my attitude towards everything and talking to others. I can never play it safe with anyone due to the fact that they might betray me. I'm so sorry for the pain our fellow human beings cause us.
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:iconx-jazzy-b-real-x:
x-Jazzy-B-Real-x Featured By Owner May 28, 2013
Ugh, same here. :XD: Builds your future guard up a little too heavily; everyone's character is quickly and instinctively questioned thanks to past experiences from an early age. Some parts of the adult world seriously isn't too different, either. Thank God there's more "freedom to pick, choose, and avoid," however.
Reply
:iconaurora-celest:
aurora-celest Featured By Owner May 16, 2013
How intimate. A masterfully captured snapshot into the psyche of the unathletic, bad-at-math, fat girl. It's almost as if you experienced this yesterday. Great job and congratulations for the DD.
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:iconpatrikia-bear:
Patrikia-Bear Featured By Owner May 16, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
:hugs:
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:iconxxspiritualartistxx:
xXSpiritualArtistXx Featured By Owner May 16, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I know the feeling. I used to get laughed at in gym because of my weight. I still feel insecure sometimes, not that I really express it.
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:iconthecheshercat:
TheChesherCat Featured By Owner May 16, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Aw :heart:
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:iconrp-96neko:
RP-96Neko Featured By Owner May 16, 2013
I feel exactly how you do when I was in elementary school...I was bullied since Junior Kindergarten, but now I have 20 times as many friends than in elementary school...
Reply
:iconsakuramists:
SakuraMists Featured By Owner May 16, 2013  Hobbyist Filmographer
Welcome to Middle School, ya its pretty much hell
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:iconthegalleryofeve:
TheGalleryOfEve Featured By Owner May 16, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Congratulations on your well-deserved DD!!! :iconflyingheartsplz::iconlainloveplz: :iconflyingheartsplz: :clap::clap::clap:
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:iconkikuhonda64:
KikuHonda64 Featured By Owner May 16, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Uwah!
That's horrible...
Why are women in society pushed more than men to be attractive in an age where gender equality is encouraged?
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:iconkatnisseverdeen106:
katnisseverdeen106 Featured By Owner May 16, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Idk.

Probably because we birth the babies..

And men don't have to shave :U.. if they do its considered 'gay'.

But I don't want smelly arm pit hairs when guys are wearing tank tops in gym class..

*shivers*


Butttt anyways your right, but men should also be pressed and need to get reality checks

And yes glasses are very sexy. I give my sexiest characters glasses. Love the signature
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:iconkikuhonda64:
KikuHonda64 Featured By Owner May 19, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
!
It's considered "gay" for men to shave?
I didn't know that!

And yes I love glasses XD Thanks for the compliment, I'm glad you like it~
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:iconkatnisseverdeen106:
katnisseverdeen106 Featured By Owner May 19, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Ikr.

So I'm seeing all these guys with the bushes for arm pits and I keep hearing them say its gay to shave and I'm like "better to be thought gay than to stink like a hippo statue made of shit." Besides. I wouldn't mind if they were gay. One of my goals is to get a gay best friend and to go to a gay bar with him or her.

Though I'll probably regret that in the morning. But who cares! :icondummywooplz:

I want glasses so bad. And mom's like gurl you'd regret getting glasses.


Also I loveee your Marshal Lee Icon. Thats my favorite gender bender character out of every gender bender in the world. asfsjdkdlk
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:iconkikuhonda64:
KikuHonda64 Featured By Owner May 19, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
"better to be thought gay than to stink like a hippo statue made of shit."
I LOL'D SO HARD XD

I'm bisexual and I would go to a gay bar but I'm not old enough XD
Thanks~ I love Marshal Lee but I didn't make the icon
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:iconkatnisseverdeen106:
katnisseverdeen106 Featured By Owner May 19, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thank you c:


bro I'm not old enough either its just one of my weird ass dreams. Its on my bucket list. Cool that your bisexual. I still don't know my orientation yet but I think I'm straight.. then again.. I might be bi.. :iconshrugplz: only time will tell.

don't worry most artists like it when a piece of art is used for a Icon. It makes them feel great.
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:iconkikuhonda64:
KikuHonda64 Featured By Owner May 21, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
No problem XD

I have have weird ass dreams too lol
One of them is to go into a gay bar and hit on one of the female waitresses. If she objects, I'll say, "I thought this was a gay bar!" Of course I'll get kicked out lol. The other one is to go into a gay bar disguised as a guy (I can actually pull that one off quite easily lol) and see if a guy hits on me XD

And omg I love how we're having entirely different conversations in large text and small text XD
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:iconkatnisseverdeen106:
katnisseverdeen106 Featured By Owner May 23, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
:3

I wanna do that too xD. Oh one of my friends is more guy than anything except she's a girl.

And a pervert.

Though I love rping with her xD also my big sister figure is awesome to rp with.

Small text agents unite xD?
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(1 Reply)
:iconrp-96neko:
RP-96Neko Featured By Owner May 16, 2013
I love your name and your icon. HetaliaxAdventure Time FTW
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:iconkikuhonda64:
KikuHonda64 Featured By Owner May 19, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Haha thanks~
Although I didn't make the icon
And my username is very uncreative XD
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:iconrp-96neko:
RP-96Neko Featured By Owner May 19, 2013
pffff it's ok...
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:iconkikuhonda64:
KikuHonda64 Featured By Owner May 19, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
If you say so~
No it's not! Uwaah!
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:iconrp-96neko:
RP-96Neko Featured By Owner May 19, 2013
It's completely fine!
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